Fly home if you will.

(Since today is another of those lazy "ligid2" days, I found myself browsing through some of my previous blogs. So whatever was on those blogs, was what I thought of that time. It's fascinating how fascinated I can be about what interestingly used to conspire in my mind, just like this one.)

My uncle has been breeding pigeons even before I was born. As a little kid I remember going to his coop and seeing him brushing their feathers. Then I remember seeing him let the beautiful feathered creature fly into the sky.

(c) Aaron Wojack 2010

In confusion I told mother what I saw. Such a terrible sight to see, knowing that my uncle loved his animals. She reassured me with an amused smile, “That pigeon knows where home is, your uncle lets him fly so he can enjoy freedom and to let his wings stretch. When the pigeon realizes it’s time for supper, he will come home.”

I forgot to ask if there ever was a pigeon that never came home. I believed that all homing pigeons always flew home.

Now as a young adult, I do realize that there really have been those who never did fly back. Those who may have been too injured to fly home, unfortunately lost their lives, stolen by others, or maybe found a place too glorious to fly back to his original home (this last one I’m not sure of).

Regardless of the what predicament may follow the pigeon, I admire the principle my uncle has practiced. He knows that there is a possibility that his birds may not fly home, but he knows that for their sake they need to be free.

Fly home if you will pigeon. You may or you may not; this coop is under renovation.

08-30-2011

On persevering and the best.

Let me share with you a little synopsis of my Sunday (October 30, 2011).

Iloilo City, Philippines:

7:53 AM - Put on my 5-inch high pair of grey wedges.

7:55 AM - Left my apartment and went down 3 floors.

8:05 AM - Arrived at the VCF Iloilo center. Primped a little bit.

8:15-8:45 AM - Practiced with the AM team

9:00-9:30 AM - Led 9AM service praise and worship with AM team

11:00-11:30 AM - Led 11AM service praise and worship with AM team

12:00 PM - Trudged off to SM City to get some stuff

12:15 PM - Headed to Iloilo port, stood in line for tickets and to board the ferry

Bacolod City, Philippines:

2:00 PM - Docked in Bacolod, took a cab to Robinsons Bacolod

2:15 PM - Went up the escalators to the VCF Bacolod center at the 3rd floor.

2:20 PM - Went down to Bob's Pastry shop on a random whim with Darlene

3:00 PM - Went back up to the 3rd floor via escalator/stairs

4:00-4:30 PM - As part of the congregation, stood up for more praise and worship and communion.

5:30-7:00 PM - Went on random trips around Robinson's Bacolod

7:00-9:45 PM - Pizza Hut and Starbucks with Ivan, Herbert, and Yssa

9:40-9:55 PM - Walked all the way from Starbucks to McDonald's Lacson (12 blocks) with Bort and Ivan (Even though it was fun, this part was terrible.)

9:55-10:15 PM - Hung out for a little bit at McDonald's with the entire gang

10:15 PM - Headed home with Tzu, Japs, and Paolo

10:30 PM - Arrived at home and shook off my 5-inch high grey wedges.

This wasn't yesterday,
but these are the exact
shoes. Haha

So yes, basically it was a day I spent enjoying friends and time in the house of God in two different provinces in the Philippines, wearing one of my highest heels for more than 14 hours.

Now how is this of significance to perseverance and the best?

Well, when I donned the shoes on, I knew opting for them wasn't going to be a just a matter of fashion and taste. I knew I was going to be on my feet for long periods of time in the morning. I knew I was going to cross the sea at noon. I knew I was going to have more time on my feet and be roaming around Bacolod city in the afternoon.

I put them on anyway.

To some parts of the female species (such as myself), a shoe is more than just a piece of contraption to cover, cushion, and protect the feet. It is a statement, as it speaks for a multitude of things about myself and what I am trying to convey. For this Sunday, I wanted to look my best, that kind where I'm like "no matter what it takes." If I would want to look pleasing on any other day, how much more as I serve the living God?

Even though I barely grazed through today without majorly hurting myself, there weren't bits of today where my ankles screamed in pain. (I haven't exactly worn heels very much this semestral break.)

One notable portion of today's excursions was when Ivan and Herbert convinced me to walk from Starbucks to McDonald's which was 12 blocks away. To normally clad feet, that feat would have been nothing. Now I didn't want my choice in footwear to dampen their hopes and dreams of walking those blasted 12 blocks, so I eventually relented (with the condition that Ivan carry my bag for me. Ha.).

When we hit the PNB building (couple blocks away from McDonalds), the gams and feet already felt like dying. The lingering temptation to make the fellas halt and let me take a breather was throbbing against my plantar region. Then I reminded myself that sporting these heels were my own choosing and I actually agreed to walk all the way to McDonald's. So I lunged on forward, assuring Ivan that I was still alive when he asked if my feet were still okay.

I would have easily chosen to wear simple flats today, or I could have put a more comfortable pair of shoes in my backpack. That would have meant a mediocre outfit or an extra burden to carry, respectively. Opting for the best isn't necessarily choosing the easiest nor the most comfortable; it hardly ever is. It is usually going to be very difficult, but as you continue on, you eventually gain the ability to carry it 'till the end, and you find more fulfillment in the fact that you actually did it.

I could've chosen to take an easier way of getting to McDonald's. But that would've meant that I missed out on doing something fun like that.

Choosing the best isn't easy. Make sure you don't quit. It will be worth it.

Would you like you, if you met you?

I remember seeing this question in one of those survey things we used to do to kill time in high school. My answer was this...

"Oh, I think we would just stare each other down."

I never really put this rather inquisitive thought into consideration, well, maybe for a little bit. Or at least not seriously. Not much, until now.

This should be more of a tug-of-war on the issues of "being yourself" or "being universally likeable." Where I seek to find the perfect balance, without having to put too much strain upon myself.

Some say, just be yourself and the right people will love you as you are; real love and friendship knows no requirements. Some say, put importance in what people expect of you for this will make you gain much favor and allow you to gain their trust.

So, which do you think makes more sense?

How about we put it this way... How do you think does He see you? Now that would put a lot of things into a brand new light.

As you strive to gain His favor while being the person He created you to be, you will find the right kind of favor from the right kind of people.

No more fuss.

Goodnight!
EllaDING

Read up!:
Proverbs 3 - His favor
Psalm 139 - Fearfully and wonderfully made

With a throbbing head and screaming eyes.

That blasted cup y'all. Bow.

I'm at Starbucks, alone. I don't know how I look like, I think I look like I got electrocuted, or I'm having a stroke. Haha. This is one of the worst headaches I've had in the longest time.

Here are some of the possible reasons why:
1. The sun was glaring today, so maybe too much light affected my visual pathway. Or maybe I do need to get my eyes re-checked.
2. Starbucks Cafe Verona is a very bold kind of coffee, the kind I used to brew before my night shifts when I was working in the United States. Taking in a full grande of that after a few days of lame coffee drinking would've done the trick at headache-inducing.
3. Mix points 1 and 2 together.

I'm still at that stage in medical school where I know just about close to nothing about the pathological side of things. Therefore I cannot flawlessly and intelligently explain for my situation as of the moment.

Now who wouldn't want to know how it works? Once you start learning about things, the hunger never stops. In spite of that, I probably can't go jumping to learning about diseases and how to cure them when I don't even know how it should be in the first place, in other words, the healthy human body.

I guess this explains for much about life. We can't figure out which is right or wrong, or basically just the right thing to do unless we know what is pure and healthy, the perfect standard for living.

If I have Gray's Anatomy and Guyton and Hall's Medical Textbook for Physiology for Human Biology, I'm glad I have the Word of God for my life.

Fooling yourself is an art.

No it's not. It's an addiction.

No, I was kidding. It's a bad habit.

This semestral break is starting to get a little bit more interesting.

You know when you tell yourself that you really want something but you actually don't? Then you tell yourself another thing, and then you realize you may actually not like that either. It's like you don't know what you want or do not want anymore.

It's when your bosom friend actually isn't laughing about it already, 'cause she knows what you're talking about just isn't real.

Confusion kicks in.

Last night I was at Starbucks having a latte with one of my college professors who ended up being one of my best friends. I didn't tell him anything about this, and we were actually talking about some other things. I learned about one very important thing apart from the other things we did talk about.

Life is not a matter of what you want. It's about knowing how to obey.

I may not really want any of those at all. The way I see it, fooling myself is a way of covering up for things I'm afraid of. But when I remember what He has to say and what He wants for me, I might as well just forget them.

No, it isn't rocket science.
(Remember that Ella, NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.)

Why do we have crushes on people?

I played a game in my iPad today. I don't know what it exactly is called but it consists of little blue bearded things and huge white-gloved hand and picking up mushrooms. Somehow it was the only app that didn't get me bored as I sailed back to my hometown from the City of Love. (One hour on the ferry and loads of caffeine would definitely find me totally restless.)

Now before you go to the App Store and download that stinkin app, let me tell you this... I literally felt as if my brain was slowly turning into mush.

It wasn't exactly that dumb of an app because I reckon it was actually crafted for young children. But it was so pointless to play being the oh-so-responsible young adult that I am perceived to be, that it in blatant reality it was just a total waste of my time.

But still, I kept on playing. To make it a wee bit more embarrassing, I even went back to that app several times. Why? I don't know.

Now, how is this related to crushes?

I wonder, I think I just got carried away. Maybe I'll talk about crushes some other time...

Oh wait. Touche.

People like these. Aw shucks.

Fermila yos!

Yesterday, one of my best friends forever and I had a random dinner rendezvous. After a spontaneous decision that was birthed out of a desperate need for chocolates, after sooooo long I was able to enjoy the cool Bacolod weather at night as we walked the entire length of 6th Lacson Street. Traipsing along, we basically just talked about severely girly stuff that would seriously make a man believe he were growing ovaries if one were with us.

She's one of those people who laugh at me when I do something stupid, because she knows I'd be laughing about it before she does.

Now how do I call this girl my best friend? We've actually fought and had misunderstandings several times already, and we've patched up every time. As soon as a person begins to be able to hurt you and vice versa, I seriously think that you already care about them at that level.

Even at times when I believe I just couldn't take these kind of people anymore, I'd still do what I can to keep them, because I'd rather have them and their flaws with me, than never have them in my life at all.

Apart from giving material things (like bandi--candied peanutes, for example), we always end up sharing spiritual and motivational thoughts with each other. We may haven't grown up in size together like my childhood buddies, but we can actually grow together in intellect and spirit -- as fellow women.

She's either a bridesmaid or a manenay in my wedding (it's up to her), and will definitely be a manenay to my kids. She's going to be stuck to me and my family.

There are times when we're so busy I never hear from her, long intervals when I never have the time to talk to her anymore. But every time we see each other or when one checks up on the other, it's like time never even passed us by.

Having someone like that is precious. Do what you can to keep them.

Do you have anyone like that in your life?

Hi again.

Now as in continuation of that last blog, I will explain a little bit more on how such movie (Julie & Julia) brought me to make an effort and do something like this.

I am blessed to live a life that has never bored me once.

Julie Powell just blogged about her life in relation to that of Julia Child's, and she made a mark on her readers.

Alright so this isn't 2003 anymore where there were only a handful of bloggers existent in the world. (Man, having a constant internet connection and your own computer was totally cool when I was 13.) But to whoever may be reading this at all, I wish to inspire you a little bit. Share with you whatever brings me happiness, so that somehow I get to share a little bit of sunshine into the world.

Okay that was a little corny.

Anyway, if dark clouds do come my way, don't let it get to ya. I get over them as quickly as you can count to… Well, let's say an hour, or okay, a day at most. When I do rant I actually do it quite aggressively. It amuses my friends though, I don't understand why. Hahaha

Not that I'm anyone extremely awesome, because everyone's equally awesome.

As for the cooking part of the movie I was talking about well, forget it. The most complicated dish I've ever dished out in my life was a batch of Orange Chicken circa Spring 2011 in my mother's kitchen in Minnesota. I did it quite terribly. I know my mother would be the last person to ever lie about anything. But when she said it was one of the best she's tasted, I didn't believe her.

I still don't.

Brown-crowned corn cupcakes.
They look ugly I know, but they
were tasty. (That's my mother.)

I can relate a little bit on the desserts part. I've been whipping up cakes and cheesecakes and cookies and brownies and pies all of that shiz ever since I was a little girl. Since I don't have a cupboard all stocked up and ready with flour and all that (my Mom is the person for that), I'll only be able to post a recipe or some foodie-blog-cliche post about my creations the next time I fly to the United States.

We have Calea, Bobs, Felicia's, Miren and such to compensate for that. Who needs my own creepy creations (I like making them in weird shapes and sizes) when we have Bacolod's best right? Iloilo has Dulgies! (Um no, I'm definitely not partial to Nothing But Desserts. But that's just me. Any thoughts?)

Anyways, tracing the nervous pathways of the human body has been hogging up much of my frontal cortex (brain center of planning, thinking and reasoning) lately. If it weren't for the gracious semestral break right now, I'd totally be making up some weird song about tracing the cardiovascular pathways.

I put human flesh first before baked goodies. <--That last statement just explained for a lot about who I am. I don't think my best friends even know I actually bake. Well, except for my childhood best friends.

So there. I guess you get the point that I've really been enjoying my life, and I just talked about something principally random, short, and simple.

Keep enjoying your life, it's none like any other's. It's been custom designed for you. Ohhh you lucky guy, you blessed girl, you fortunate fella! 

I've never rolled on the floor while laughing,

Ella :D

Hi.

Now who would've ever thought watching a movie about food and blogging would make me realize a lot of things in life.

Hello, my name is Ella. I just watched Julie & Julia for the first time in my life.

Sometimes I wonder if I have ADHD, that because when I watch a movie in my laptop or on TV, (especially when I'm alone) I don't always finish it. But this ONE movie, I finished all the way through, without having to delay parts of it till next time. I finished it in one night.

Now I know the point of a blog is mostly talking about one's self. Some people don't necessarily like listening to people who talk too much about themselves. But somehow I feel like I need to do this. I need to do a blog that I could actually maintain for years.

Now what am I talking about? Oh I have blogged before, and in so many sites Xanga, Multiply, Myspace, Facebook (Notes), Tumblr (four separate blogs in this one baby). I can't seem to maintain just one. I end up forgetting to post and then I get tired of posting in that same blog that I always end up making a new one. It's a little pathetic now don't you think?

For the sake of all who would read my blog, I would try to make my posts as interesting as possible, even though they would notoriously be speaking about my ever uninteresting life, as expected.

Something about daily life, some things we all can relate on I hope. Some realizations I may be pondering about that you can ponder about too. You can even argue with me, be my guest. It makes the whole thing a whole lot more interesting; makes me think even more deeply.

Am I boring you now? I sure hope not.

I'll prattle a little bit more next time. At least I got this part where I start, over and done with.

Big smiles and monster laughs,

Ella :)