Decembre.

Glittering icicles on the ground were crushed underfoot as she strolled down the state trail amongst the woods. She let go of a highly vaporized puff into the chilly December air. Her eyelids were squeezed shut as she felt the snowflakes slowly melt as they landed on her scarlet cheeks. She blew on her popsicle fingers, and it brought about a warm rush on her face as it did on her palms.

She opened her eyes.

Her feet fell on a muddy puddle, and the air became a thousand times heavier than it was just a moment ago. Her eyes caught something glittering, but she came to realize that these were the blinking white lights shining from a neighbor's roof. Gone was her jacket, her boots. She had a t-shirt and flip-flops on, and her face glistened from the humidity of the night. She closed her eyes again, a small gust of cool air went through her hair, and that felt majestically better.

Her eyelids fluttered open.

Parallel universes; winter, however and wherever it may be. They will bring about abhorrence, inconvenience, and discomfort. That's where we find its beauty, as we learn to appreciate the little things that greatly alleviate these unpleasant experiences.

A warm breath on cold skin, a soft breeze. A stroll through a winter wonderland, an unexpected dance under the rain. Now let the diamonds fall from the sky, and let the rain glisten in your hair.

Winter. You have beauty of your own, wherever you are.

<3 Ella

12/26/12

Christmas Day 2012, Philippines

Jesus, period.

It's the semestral break. I got tons of time to sit down and think, and spend much of those thinking moments with my Savior, alone. It's not always sunshine and butterflies when you've chosen to follow Him, and one must never expect it to be easy always.

Human as I am, I am not perfect, but I hold on to the fact that I have Jesus in my life and I always have something to hold on to. After all, He is the only permanent Person I could ever hold on to anyway.

Oftentimes we lose focus off Jesus and begin to focus on what should be and what should not be, we begin to focus on the gifts and ministries that go along with it. I've recently started reading on the book of Colossians, and for today I decided to take a look at the Message version of the second chapter. I love how the words are made more modern and more comprehensible.

Following Christ is not about visions and dreams and rules and mysteries. It's all about the salvation we have received through Christ. Once that is in place, everything else will just follow.

Never think that there is a single pattern through which God operates. He has His own different, original plan for you. Never let anyone make you think otherwise, and never let them run your life.

Focus on Jesus, not on what mere men say.

Love,

Ellagirl

"Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They’re a lot of hot air, that’s all they are. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us. " 

~ Colossians 2:18-19 (MSG)

This love.

At the end of a very eventful week, I'm given the chance again to enjoy the pleasant gust of the breeze from my huge open windows on a Saturday morning.

I sit and think of what has happened in the past month of August, where I've fallen, where I've gotten back up, and how my God continues to be faithful in my life. As I continue to muse, I recall one thought I posted on my Twitter one Sunday, and this is one statement that keeps me going. It always will.

When all of Him is all I have, I have all that I will ever need and more.

I don't question it, I don't seek anything from it. This is how I've learned what love really means. Even when you gain nothing in return, even when it doesn't go your way, even when you get frustrated, and even when you've given up everything for it but it doesn't reach up to your expectations... You choose to continue.

Because loving Him, is already enough. Now the best part about this is, He loves me more than I could ever love Him. Loving a human being like myself would be very difficult given the fact that my flesh is weak and I can get easily distracted... Yet He continues.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."- Jeremiah 31:3b (ESV)

He never gives up on me, and He never will. Same goes with you.

I pray for a beautiful September. May yours be blessed.

-Ella ♥
09/01/12

Why I couldn't study over the long weekend.

As y'all know I spent the 4-day long weekend in the island of Negros, mostly in my beloved Bacolod City. Whenever I'm there, I barely could ever study properly. So as to give an example why that is so, I decided to blog a bit about it, again. As much as I already love being in Iloilo City, many of my friends and family are in Bacolod and they (plus the food and the freebies) are the reasons why I just can't afford to sail there too often for fear of failing Medicine entirely.

I've mentioned in my last *awkward wince* fashion-blog post, my sister and I were going to meet up with some friends. In actuality, we were meeting two monkeys at Kuppa Coffee and Tea at Hilado Street. These guys are Eunice's best friends in college and they're like younger brothers to me, especially Jake, the monkey in red. As for the lost monkey in blue, I feel badly for, as he thought I came from the United States and studied medicine there. Thanks for the upgrade though, Luis! You get a stuffed monkey when I go back to the states!

(The following photos are a jumble from my phone and Eunice's camera last Monday, August 20.)

Partners in monkey business.

Nux. Good one Jake.

Monkey 1

Monkey 2

Flattering iPhone front camera. Oh yeah.

Since Eunice was using her camera and I was using my phone, the monkey used my iPad. Geez we know you're obsessed with Queen Cleopatra! Lol just kidding! ;) Hahahaha

Ay hindi ma agwanta.

This picture is too funny I can't even. (Hint: Luis)

While the Queen did her whatever royal stuff with her royal monkeys, I thought I'd show y'all a bit of Kuppa. I've posted bits on Calea, Cafe Bobs, Miren, Starbucks Bacolod, the University Courtyard, and Main Strip Alley before. Enjoy! 

My Iced Choco Banana Latte. Two thumbs up!

Pasta Puttanesca

Gelato!

After Kuppa we went to Capitolville to visit Gracielle and "surprise" (Absolutely epic lame fail. HAHA) her with a chocolate peanut butter cake. (Which was really good by the way!) Bodie and my cousin Eleanor (who took the next 3 amazing photos) came too. 

My super-duper buot and beautiful inside and out, high school friend is now 22! Time flies so fast! I don't feel like we're "grown-up" at all. It still feels like we're still in high school, finishing PACEs and memorizing Bible verses, *ehem* dancing, and awkwardly having to join in school plays. *Sigh* She sticks closer than a sister, no matter what may happen. Love you Grak! I'm so blessed to have someone like you! Happy birthday again!

Just before the day ended, found a chance to finally meet up with one of my bestest friends at our headquarters none other than Starbucks Bacolod! Haha. My darling Joshywoshy came too. Fermila's been super busy at work and feeling ko ka sunggod na sha sakon. But I know she understands. Naks. I've missed you Dai!

There are way too many things I still wanted to do, more people I wanted to see. But priorities go first, and I had to sail back to Iloilo the morning after in a panic for I haven't finished even half of what I should have covered by then. I made the right decision. The exam that I had to study for (Dermatology Module 2), went great. Makes me feel like I deserve some blogging time. :D

Thank you again, Bacolod! Wait for me, we'll have more fun soon.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." - Ecclesiastes 3:3 

8/22/11

Pink stripes and pigeon food.

I said I was going to make a set of experimental blog posts. So well, here's a lame excuse for what everybody knows as a... fashion blog post. Before any further ado, please refrain from expecting too much. I promise no more fashion stuff for a long long long time after this for I think I suck at it.

Now the reason why I thought I might be worthy (baw, worthy kuno) of doing anything like this was because of these common things I've seen among the fashion bloggers I've browsed through.

-Weird accessories (check)

-Old favorite pieces of clothing (check)

-Something bought abroad (check)

-Something Forever21 (check)

-Animal prints (check)

-Awkward pose (alang2x guro)
-Skinny (baw lihog lang)

-iPhone 4/4S with super cool case (check)
-Hand-me-down stuff (wait, kay mang abukay ko sa cabinet ni Lola)
-Blur2x effect of photos (may 50mm man ta ah)

-Nature2x ang background (check)

So uh, more or less I can actually probably pull off something rather presentable.. Right?

My little sister Eunice was supposed to take these photos but she was too busy rummaging through our closets looking for a particular article of clothing that I decided that our help, Manang Jane, was badass enough to do the job. Eunice and I were supposed to meet up with friends within the half hour, so I opted for the roof to get the job done real quick. The roof of the house has a coop of lovely homing pigeons and the bins you see at the back are highly likely containing their daily grub. So uh, don't mind those.

Ok so let's go through this real quick.

The moment I laid eyes on this pink and heather striped top at the Old Navy clearance last Spring, I knew I had to have it. Scored it for only $9 USD! Not only is it very light and breezy, but the flattering effect of the downward stripes and the pop of bright pink makes it darling to the eyes. Haha

Paired my top with a more toned-down combination of black jeans (Which has been in my possession since 2008, some things you just can't let go of!), and earth-colored accessories.

Manang Jane tried her best. I salute her for bearing the icky heat with me today. Since Eunice already found what she was looking for, I thought I'd just let her do the rest of the photos indoors.

My messy wind-blown hair, bow. Had my hair permed at a Korean hair salon in Iloilo City just a few weeks ago. I love it! It makes my hair look naturally curly. One thing I like about Koreans is how they do their hair. This is one rather good investment considering I'm in sophomore year in medical school thus I barely have time to fix my hair in the morning. Wala husay, wala problema ah.

As for my crystal-ish necklace, this thing caught my attention while doing one of my "window-shopping" stints at Forever21 at the Mall of America last Spring. For one thing, they look like ice cubes, perfect for summer. Uh, pink lemonade anyone?

Sorry for the leopard-skin vomit all over your screen, but I presently scream leopard prints! I think they look old-y and girly and safari-ish. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but yeah. Bought my belt from PacSun as part of a 3-belt set on clearance for $5. My Guess purse has been with me for years now, and I still get compliments for it! You can see that and my Tory Burch leopard skin iPhone case in closer detail below.

 Nothing like a classic pair of suede wedges in nude! Makes my legs look slimmer and longer, and make my feet look bigger for that matter, as I am bestowed with size 5 1/2 feet. Illusion working?

Lately I've been more inclined towards earth-brown colors and fine details. I can pair them with almost about anything, so far. I can even wear them on their own and not look too grubby and sad.

Just before leaving the house, I decided it was just too bright to not leave the house without my favorite pair of sunglasses on. I may speak of this one in further detail in the future for I have no more time left in my hands. Hahaha. Hey, but what better accessory to wear wherever you go than a sincere smile. (Yak. Hahahaha)

And there you have it. Have to go through virology and pigmentary disorders before I sleep. I've had way too much of a break. I'll do my best not to regret all this frolicking. *Sigh* I love my chosen field more than any of this though so whatever. I had a good time. Thank God for a wee break.

Bye.

8/20/12

P.S. If you're a fashion blogger, don't mind me and my silly quips. I love what you guys are doing and I really can't imagine how you guys are so good at it. Keep inspiring us, the mere peasants of fashionland. Sometimes we really don't know what wear! - E

Cornyballs Saturday.

I'm not sure what to make of this, but I believe I need to post more in my blog. Being the long weekend that this is, I thought I'd do some experimental posts, given I have some time to splurge.

So today marks the first day of my four days of "freedom" from the steely white walls of medical school (Okay, not entirely white. But still...) and so far, I'm having a ball.

What with wishing I could still pass for a fresh-faced freshman, threw in our batch's jersey from last year with some comfy jean shorts, my favorite sunnies, and my favorite tan sperrys. Sue me, I'm a terrible outfit repeater.

Took these quick snaps at the apartment in Iloilo just before leaving. It was 10:15am and the trip was scheduled to leave at 10:30am. Tut, tut, why do I like putting myself in tight situations. But hey, I made it! Hahaha

Just after having lunch with family after docking in Bacolod, had me-time at good old Cafe Bobs at Lacson street. Nope, I wasn't there to lounge around or pretend to study histology or anatomy like in the old B.S. Biology days. I badly needed to start on my reading, for I got more or less 5 exams to dive in to after this mini "vacation." *Sigh*

After making a quick visit to Victory Bacolod, had a quick meet-up with my cousin other from another, Lolo? Just had to see this cute little pumpkin at Robinsons just before heading off to dinner with my other beloved babies. Apparently she couldn't go because she already had dinner with ______. Hahaha joke lang pretty lady!

I love her sense of style! (I want to steal that denim vest!)

   

At back parking area at Robinsons Place Bacolod just before Josh drove us to dinner. Awesome shot by Eunice! I never thought this was ever possible with a Nikon D5000. Bongga.

The mother of all pizzas at Bacolod's go-to place for awesome pizza, Greenoz. I regret nothing!!!!!

(L-R Josh, me, sissy, Ivan. Not in picture, Herbie)

I have a brood of boyfriends/lovers/brothers/bodyguards in Bacolod that my little sister and I love very much. I can always count on having a jolly good time when I'm with them. They're that consistent in always almost making me fall off my chair laughing my brains out. (Cougar talks, nobody cares, and tourism to name a few.) Well, Herbie makes me laugh in certain different way. Um, ahem huya man ta.

Me: Herbs, kaagi ka man crush sakon?
Herbie: *Nods calmly with a side-ward glance that indicates that he already has a crush on someone else.*

Haahahaha heartbreak!! Thanks for giving us libre you guys! Love you!

As usual, my day Bacolod City ends up fun and fattening (with a tinge of productive, I can't let go of that fact.) Bah who cares about the all the eating, I'll drop all these calories when I kill myself with more exams in the coming weeks away from home lihog lang. 

Lord, I pray that I spend the rest of this weekend wisely. Amen

8/18/12

King David.

So much for staring at the pathophysiology of Henoch-Shonlein Purpura. My eyes hurt. But the realization that I've found a teeny window of opportunity to post in my blog again, makes me not care about this ocular discomfort secondary to chronic staring at iPhones, iPads, computers, papers, books, and LCD projector screens. *Blech*

Presently my mind is full and turbulent, yet my heart finds itself in perfect peace. Paradoxical as it may seem, it's real.

Do you know that feeling, when you're all up and going. Momentum cranked up in full.. And all of a sudden -- BAM! You fall. You're hurt. You're disappointed.

All that you've worked so hard for, gone just like that... Something you've been hoping for, dissolved before your eyes... You've made a wrong turn and its effects are irreversible.

What do you do?

"Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

And naked shall I return there.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

Blessed be the name of the Lord." - Job 1:21

I made a promise years ago to love and worship Him no matter what may happen. And true enough, all the bad that could happen, actually happened. My nightmares came true, many of my fears materialized. I've been through enough to make me even want to break down and give up on my life.

Sometimes I forget, and I get carried away by my human flesh...  But at the end of the day, this I choose to fall face down on my knees because I need Him, and I love Him more than anything.

It's not a matter about who posts the most Facebook statuses about God, nor is it about how visible you are in the church. Some people are in the church but they are miles and miles away from Him. I know, because I've been there.

God looks at your heart. So ask yourself this: Is it a heart that is after Him, come what may? Or is it a heart that just goes through the motions, because everything is okay?

Do I ever look like nothing bad has ever come my way? Well, it's all by His grace. :)

Psalm 13. David cried it out, and so have I.
8/14/12

Goodbye.

This is what they look like when they're not ugly.

Saturday morning.

Bates and Del Mundo are sprawled all over the bedspreads. All the windows are wide open and constant blasts of cool winds swirl around the little apartment.

Head. Eyes. Ears. Nose. Throat.

*Shuts book.*

I move over to the fridge at the foot of my bed, open it, and I stare at what seems like a little brown box covered in a white plastic bag covered with a layer of frost.

Alas, it contains a very ugly looking red velvet cupcake.

I don't care how ugly it has become (It has been through rough sea waters. Don't ask). I immediately stick it in my mouth.

Crumbs fall over my bed. Frosting finds its way to my hair. My orange highlighter falls to the floor.

What's my point? I don't have a point. Hahahaha

Somebody get me a dozen of those from Bacolod please? On the other hand... Don't. I shall mark that moment as the end of my modified starches and sugary treats.

It was wonderful.

Thank you Flibby! Belated happy birthday. ;)
06/23/12

Surrender.

Does God allow a reset?

Ever dealt with a mumbo-jumbo that has repeated itself over and over and over again? Can we ever get it to start anew? That question is a lot easier to answer when it deals with only one person. But when it involves two, the problem can become bigger than Noah's Ark ten times put together.

Yet going back to dealing with one's self alone, it is still a very challenging task.

There may come a time when you are left with a difficult situation wherein you have two options, to salvage that which is something painfully repetitive (obviously rather of value to you), or to decide to finally set it aside.

Yesterday, Coach Rommel of Lifebox Iloilo preached about how it is to be a "Certified Follower" of Jesus Christ. It involves no blemish, no compromise, and no justification of faults. It is a complete and total surrender wherein you lay yourself just as you are in the palm of His hands, and let Him change you into His image completely.

"Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. (Matthew 16:24)

Let me repeat that, COMPLETELY.

Does an aspect in your life confuse you? Makes you feel detained? Disturbed? Though it may seem that you are a follower of Christ in a certain matter, if AT LEAST one teeny-weeny part of it does not align to His commands in His Word -- the sad and honest truth is that you have to let it go.

Here's the precious deal, once you fully surrender yourself to Him, you don't only get all of Him, you gain everything else along with Him...

As if all of Him isn't all that you'll ever really need.

"O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You;
my soul thirsts for You;
my flesh faints for You,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 

So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary,
beholding Your power and glory.

Because Your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise You. 

So I will bless You as long as I live;
in Your name I will lift up my hands." (Psalm 63:1-4 ESV)

Overwhelming sweet interruption.
6/16/2012

Lifebox Iloilo is certified!
(c) Paula Joy Nugpo

Gratitude and worship.

Last before the clock strikes midnight.

In all my 23 years in this earth, I have to declare that I can never claim credit and be proud of any single thing I've accomplished. I couldn't have done them all by myself. In fact, I think I'd be dead by now, several times over. If not, I'd be lost, all alone, and beyond repair.

This is the first birthday eve of my life spent by myself, and I feet all but lonely. Right when the clock struck midnight, this heart couldn't help but confess and be thankful for how Jesus has been there from the beginning and will be there until the end. I couln't do anything except worship Him, and glorify Him, for all that He has done in my life.

I've been through so much, done so many things to break His heart. Yet in all this, His grace is always enough. His grace and His love are the best gifts I can ever receive, for every birthday, for every single day. I need nothing more. If I had all the tears in the world, we'd all be swimming by morning.


My life is in His hands. All I want is Him for the rest of my days.

"Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." ~ Psalm 139:16

Jesus, thank You. I love You. I owe You my whole life.
6/8/2012

Of Facebook and Stars.

I change my Facebook appearance so many times, it would be a crime to a good number of people already. Haha

So far, I think this the best I've come up with. So before the time comes that I eventually do get tired of it, I thought I'd at least I'd have something to remember it by.

I've always had a certain liking for Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night" oil painting. Actually I believe it's one of the most beautiful paintings in the world. Don't you think it looks gorgeous?

Unlike the usual fascination, I'm not a moon person. As in I like stars better than the moon, and I've had numerous dreams about stars. While having a good stare at the painting, I remembered a dream I've had when I was just a naive college student of eighteen. I never forgot about it, but never fully understood what it meant, until now.

One star may shine alone, but when the clouds begin to roll away, you come to realize that maybe another one may have been shining the brightest all along.


Until the sky clears, I sleep.
5/2/2012

At the local Barnes and Noble.

Apparently choosing to hang Barnes and Noble for an entire Sunday afternoon  can change a life. No, okay not as dramatic as that. But it has stimulated my cobwebby mind that has left me desperately wanting for more.

1. Everybody's favorite topic: Amour.

Had quite an amusing time just glancing at book titles, not even bothering to really check what they are about. They say you can't judge a book by its cover, but the cover will always mean a lot. Had a couple titles catching my attention that made me chortle for a bit. "Someday my Prince will Come." and "Gone with a Handsomer Man." To be honest, I think it's the grass on both covers that caught my eye. *Winks* No, really. Hahaha

On the other hand, I did take time to get an idea what some books were about. I've had a certain fascination for Wallis Simpson ever since my brother made me watch the "King's Speech" for his paper. She was hated by the English Royal family, and sparked a nationwide uproar... But King Edward thought she was worth giving up a kingdom for. It's pretty amazing, but what fascinated me the most was the story that inspired the overly popular movie, "The Vow." I hadn't realized that they were actually a Christian couple, that had an undying love for God.

2. The lifetime career: You know what it is.

Now as y'all know, ever since I was a young lass of 9 months, physician-hood was written all over my future. Some people are convinced this isn't really my hearts desire, but you have no idea how much my heart leapt when I saw the multitudes of Medicine books in there. I wanted to keep each one, yes even the USMLE Step 2 reviewers! Haha! And yep, even the one for dummies. It's too cute! (There really is one thing I hate about this though: Biochemistry. Lord, help me with this.)

3. My childhood in a nutshell: Memories of my little old library.

Those old books are long gone now, but their characters and stories are still hidden up in my memory. I remember which made me cry, those that made me laugh, those that made me think, and those that my parents would read to me before I learned how to do it myself.  I never see most of these books for sale in the Philippines these days. Most probably you'd find them in places like Fully Booked, but those aren't in the provinces. You have no idea how much of a good time I had browsing through these old joys, remembering how much of an awesome childhood I had.

Just before leaving the kids section, I saw a Dad with his little girl with blonde curls propped on his lap, seated on the carpet. They had a stack of books beside them while he was reading one to her. The way they interacted with each other while they went through the book made me want to cry like a baby. Every dad ought to love their daughter like that. I miss my own storyteller/unlimited-book-supplier very much.

4. Writers I look up to.

The love of God is something that most of us have gone way too accustomed to, especially for long-time believers. The common mistake (I am guilty), is that we forget how Christ loved us. That is how we ought to love others, not thinking of how it will benefit us. I have a long way to go from maturity. *Sigh.* On another note, nothing can compare to C.S. Lewis' Biblical quotes. So full of wit and wisdom that makes you understand the God we serve.

I am always at home around books. If you find me not around them much, trust you will find me buried within their pages again in no time.

Now, Woodbury Library? Shall we? Anybody?

I think I'll be going alone again. *_*