King David.

So much for staring at the pathophysiology of Henoch-Shonlein Purpura. My eyes hurt. But the realization that I've found a teeny window of opportunity to post in my blog again, makes me not care about this ocular discomfort secondary to chronic staring at iPhones, iPads, computers, papers, books, and LCD projector screens. *Blech*

Presently my mind is full and turbulent, yet my heart finds itself in perfect peace. Paradoxical as it may seem, it's real.

Do you know that feeling, when you're all up and going. Momentum cranked up in full.. And all of a sudden -- BAM! You fall. You're hurt. You're disappointed.

All that you've worked so hard for, gone just like that... Something you've been hoping for, dissolved before your eyes... You've made a wrong turn and its effects are irreversible.

What do you do?

"Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

And naked shall I return there.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

Blessed be the name of the Lord." - Job 1:21

I made a promise years ago to love and worship Him no matter what may happen. And true enough, all the bad that could happen, actually happened. My nightmares came true, many of my fears materialized. I've been through enough to make me even want to break down and give up on my life.

Sometimes I forget, and I get carried away by my human flesh...  But at the end of the day, this I choose to fall face down on my knees because I need Him, and I love Him more than anything.

It's not a matter about who posts the most Facebook statuses about God, nor is it about how visible you are in the church. Some people are in the church but they are miles and miles away from Him. I know, because I've been there.

God looks at your heart. So ask yourself this: Is it a heart that is after Him, come what may? Or is it a heart that just goes through the motions, because everything is okay?

Do I ever look like nothing bad has ever come my way? Well, it's all by His grace. :)

Psalm 13. David cried it out, and so have I.
8/14/12