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| Yikes, old photo. I love Tag-alongs - my favorite. Girl scout cookies! |
To be able to speak in Ilonggo quite a lot around here is very comforting. It really heaves off a lot off the chunk of homesickness that may be starting to enlarge deep down. There really are those days which I couldn't flick off when I'd be imagining what I could be doing back in the Philippines if I were still there and how happier I would.
One interesting thing I find about the Filipino ladies (like the moms) out here is just how much they fuss over you. I couldn't blame them, it really has been a while since new people from the Philippines have come over. The retrogressions that have kept us from coming here earlier have kept them from seeing new Filipinos for about three years.
They've stared at me and said that "May ka-mukha ka [you look familiar]" It sort of creeped me out a bit. Then when "Sino nga'ng artista 'yon? [I can't remember which actress.]" was added to that, I just laughed it off. I mean seriously, that happened to me more than once. I didn't say anything. I just laughed a respectful laugh (which sounds really lame, I tell you) ample for the situation and just went on with something else I would have been doing. I concluded that maybe they're like that simply because I'm something new for them to behold. They're cute. Haha
And when they saw my brother, well.. They would be whispering to each other, "Ay, ang pogi! [Wow, he's handsome!]" Then every time I would hear that, I wouldn't fail from laughing my head off that my brother would wonder what the hell got into my head again. It has happened several times already at several different places. He's really aloof and cocky out here. Unlike when he was a little kid, he really made a whole lot more friends than I did. Now it's really like the "torpe pogi [stuck-up handsome]" atttiude. FEELER.
Last Friday we went to Manong Rey Nolido's home for a Bible Study. Nong Rey is from Bacolod, but his wife is from Manila. I like their family a lot because it's at least half-Bacolodnon. The two very pretty little girls can't speak neither Ilonggo nor Tagalog. Their parents are sort of confused on how to incorporate either to both of them since it would be three languages bumping at each other. So, they're both cute American sounding little girls. So far, they're my favorite family out here.
After dinner, Pastor Louie had the word on Philippians 3:13. It goes like this..
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."
He went on the say that even though the mistakes that we may have made in the past are stuff that we can learn from. We mustn't dwell on their negativity that keeps on haunting us because they're already in the past, they're DONE. He added also that it also applies that we may keep on looking back to the Philippines and our life back there too much that we forget that HELLO? we're already out here. We have to keep pinching ourselves so that we keep awake to the fact that this is our future already, and we have to make the best of it.
What Pastor Louie got me thinking a lot. I mean, of all the people who are here, I think I could be one of those who wasn't very thrilled about coming here. Even though I've heard that verse like a gazillion times in my lifetime, it was laid out to me once again in the most appropriate time possible.
My life in the Philippines is history.
I'm not saying that my homeland isn't part of my future anymore. Anything is possible. Yes, I do get connected with all the people I love back home. I have to stay connected. I wouldn't do without them, I'm telling you. But as for now, my life in the Philippines is nothing but a part of my past. And don't get me wrong again, history is one of my favorite subjects. :)
Bottomline: I have to let it go.
God put me out here for a reason. He's in control of my life. A desire to please Him is what He desires from me. And as the verse that has always made me feel better goes, Romans 8:28, (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.) I have nothing to worry about. I just have to keep my head screwed on tight and keep myself in line. I am very much aware though, that it definitely is not a piece of cake.
And concerning this matter about Phil 3:13.. People have kept on asking me one similar thing that would decidedly be quite amusing.. It has flattered me though, for them to think that it wouldn't be impossible for someone like me. From Mom's colleagues to the nurses to my new friends, the question is this.. "May iniwan ka ba doon? [Did you leave anything or anybody special there?]"
Whatever is in the past stays in the past. What happens in the future is what I shall behold, oh I wonder how it shall be. Perfect timing is key.
So what do you think I'd be telling them? I'd laugh and shake may head.
"Wala." :)
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Well, I'm back in the Philippines now, for school. I didn't think I'd be. Somehow I've been faced with this situation again lately, with a rather different twist in the scenario. Hey, the growing never stops. :)
~ Ella
